Who we Are

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Meet the Contestants!

Krissy Pappau

When Krissy was a babe, the liquor cabinet was locked up tightly and all her questions about the contents within were unanswered. At college, she tried alcohol, hated it, kept trying it and then learned exactly what the Barenaked Ladies had been singing about for all those years. She quickly mastered the art of the drinking game, and has gained many disciples. She spends her time dreaming of legendary liquors, and one day hopes to prove that you can make a drinking game for ANY form of media. She finds strange friends in even stranger places.

Vices: Anime, musicals, classic movies, cult television shows with fantasy or sci-fi elements.

Drink of choice: Anything sweet

Weakness: Whiskey Sours

The Bishop

The Bishop was young and determined to follow the right path--which certainly was not the one down the dark and twisted way of alcohol. But during her first communion, she felt the true body and blood of Christ travel down her chest with the sip of wine. Surely this was the truth and the light. Surely this was the road to follow.

Vices: Musicals, anything set from 1-40 AD, spy movies, more musicals, dragons.

Drink of choice: Red wine

Weakness: Silver candlesticks

Seb

The party don't start 'till Seb walks in. Why? No one knows. Seb is an enigma out of time, of indiscriminate gender, with no particular skills and an extreme aversion to logic. They say Seb suckled a bottle of vodka at birth, but Seb doesn't wish to recall such details. It is never quite certain where or when Seb will appear, though Seb has recently been spotted surfing alternate timelines (suck it, Celine), exploring ancient catacombs with descendants of gods (the dice were kind that day), and pursuing various liberal or fine arts degrees at the finest universities in space and time (Theta-Sig, chums).

Vices: Psychotropic drugs. Attractive people. The finer things.

Drink of choice: Why choose?

Weakness: The spotlight.

Pooh Daddy

Pooh has grown up kids. Gone are the days of gallivanting around the Hundred Acre Woods half-naked with that yuppie Christopher Robin. This bear has left the pure world of all natural honey and entered the sinful world of artificial sweeteners and honey whiskey. He spends his days making music that is changing a generation and spends his nights as the center of some of the hottest and dirtiest parties in the land. So gather round all you Heffalumps and Woozles and this plushie full of love and soul will serenade and seduce you with one of his new lush R&B hits.

Vices: Gravy Trains, Quentin Tarantino films, velvet

Drink of choice: anything honey based

Weakness: Beyonce

Shirley Whiskas

Don't be deceived by Shirley's blonde curls and sweet demeanor, she is a powerhouse that can drink even the most hardened man under the table. Her first drink was somewhat accidental, she had a long day and wanted to unwind, a man offered her a Shirley Temple that was a bit less virginal than we'd expect a drink of that kind to be. After that a love affair was crafted, one deeper and more romantic than anything Ryan Gosling has ever been in, but really. She goes about drinking herself dizzy, or casually having a beer with dinner. Her favorite thing though is to challenge others to a drinking contest (even on the rare occasions she doesn't win she definitely has fun losing). She is not a fan of being sick or hangovers, but she accepts that these things happen, like any lover you must accept and care for all aspects of them.

Weakness: Her own cockiness, Shirley will almost always drink more than she ought to, screaming " I'm MOTHER FUCKING SHIRLEY WHISKAS I'll be fine!" until she finds herself doubled over a toilet at 6am in the morning.

Drink of Choice: Although a hardened drinker, Shirley is still a girl at heart and cannot resist a well made Margarita with salt on the rim.

Vices: The three B's - Boys, Booze, and the Boobtube.

The Fuzzy Masked Man

The Fuzzy Masked Man, along with his trusty steed The Monstrous Feline He Calls Wikitan, was once part of the ruling gentry of Masktopia, but was banished to this world after the terrible Gopher Uprising of ’89. Since then, he has taken to dealing with his banishment and ensuing downward spiral through a variety of drinking games and poor decisions made under boardwalks at dusk. Thankfully, he met Krissy, who gave him the noblest way to channel both his crippling depression and rampaging alcoholism: entertaining people on the internet.

Vices: Video Game Review Shows, geek folk rock, the occasional violent vendetta declared against certain garden-variety rodents.

Drink of Choice: Mead

Weakness: Appletinis

Sandy B'Drinkin

Sandy B Drinkin recently shaved off 10 years of luxurious beard growth. Born Pootie Tang Johnson in Akron, Ohio, she discovered the true meaning of Christmas when somebody spiked her sippy cup at age three. Exactly 101 drinks later, she moved to the big city to pursue her dreams of binge drinking, Broadway, and luxurious facial hair. Hobbies include singing high tenor and making faces at Claire Danes.

ChampJagne AusGin

ChampJagne AusGin is the world-renowned author of Pride and Prejudiced Against Tequila, Sense and Sensibility Disappear After Drink Two, and Emma: the True Story of an Alcoholic Matchmaker. Born and raised on an English manor, her unsuitable family and want of connections drove her to drink. She has become so masterful at it that none can match her accomplishments in all of Derbyshire. ChampJagne still holds out hope, though: perhaps one day, a man will come along with ten thousand pounds a year and the damaged liver that perfectly matches her own. After all, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wine.

Vices: Rom-coms, witty novels by lady writers, chocolate, puns, obsessing over texts too much. Butreallyomgshouldshetexthimbackthough?

Drink of choice: Cosmopolitans.

Weakness: Cosmopolitans. And handsome, brooding menfolk.

First Time Here?Meet the Contestants!