"I Don't See WHAT This Has to Do With ANYTHING"
Originally dubbed “Tokarev” after the weapon of choice for the inciting crime of the film, “Rage” is what “Taken” could have been if it lacked any charm or suspense. Cage tears an entire city down around him to try and root out his teenaged daughter’s murderer. Everything about this film is mediocre; the awkward, stilted dialogue, the useless supporting cast, the convoluted politics surrounding two rival gangs...it’s all bad. The best this film could have done for itself would have been to dive into “so bad it’s good” territory and just go balls to the wall stupid, but it doesn’t even do that. That is, unless Nicholas Cage is on screen.
Let me paint you a picture. Nicholas Cage has just tracked down a member of the Russian mafia onto a rooftop wet with rain. He shouts in his face, ordering the man to tell him anything he knows about his daughter’s death. The Russian is fading fast due to blood loss, so Cage proceeds to SLAM HIS HEAD into the ground REPEATEDLY in order to get him to talk. The man (unsurprisingly) dies. Cage howls with rage, then whips out his gun and SHOOTS THE DEAD BODY SEVERAL TIMES, yelling all the while. The movie then cuts to Cage’s naked back as he showers off the blood.
THIS KIND OF SHIT is what this movie needed more of. But the rest of the cast refuses to go along with Cage’s ridiculous acting decisions (with the exception of Jack Falahee, who exhibits some truly DELICIOUS facial expressions in the last ten minutes of the film). The movie’s played straight. The creators of this film truly seem to believe in their vision and want this story to be told, goddammit, and told right, despite the fact that the story is the most hackneyed piece of writing that’s made its way into theatres this summer. That is saying something.
In all seriousness, Nicholas Cage is a national treasure (no pun intended) who exhibits great skills, but I appreciate him just as much when he’s decided to put his all into a truly worthless role. When the Cage takes on a role, he makes that role his bitch. Sometimes, that’s just what you need.
Something that makes you ANGRY. Like JAEGER or SRIRACHA FLAVORED VODKA. If you drink vodka, it must be Russian vodka.
-Drink when Nicholas Cage repeats himself
-Drink when someone shoots a gun
-Drink when someone screams
-Drink when someone cries
-Drink when someone says Caitlin's name
This review was written by Hollis Beck (Krissy Pappau). "Rage" is produced by Hannibal Pictures, Patriot Pictures, Marco Polo Productions, Tokarev Production and Vocal Yokels, and is distributed by Image Entertainment. This film is currently not rated with a run time of 92 minutes.