"It's BETTER Than New!"
This is not the WORST children’s film I’ve ever seen. The art, for example, is much prettier than I was expecting. The bulk of the film takes place in what looks to be the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range, and the level of detail put into the landscape is fairly stunning and true to real life. Also, the movie revolves around putting out large wildfires, and these sequences are fairly exciting, but they are few and far between. Instead we get scene after scene of Dusty failing to express himself and having extended whiney sequences at inconvenient times, like when a national park is burning down around him. Get it together, guy. Shouldn’t a professional racer have more self-confidence than this? Are you seriously going all Ricky Bobby on the audience during a major crisis? Without consequences? That’s frustrating. You’re frustrating.
The small children in my theater seemed to be pretty engaged and excited by the film, so I guess that makes it a success, but the demographic that will enjoy this picture is pretty small: kids between seven and ten years old. Any younger and they’ll have no shot of following what’s going on between the long expository bits and the technobabble-laden dialogue (I’ll say this for the writers, they do seem to actually understand how planes work). Any older and they’ll be bored by the predictable story and lack of forward momentum. Adults? Forget about it. As hard as the movie tries to cater to adults, there’s nothing for them here except bizarre questions about the world and its rules (Why are some cars sentient while others clearly aren’t? If trains are sentient too, why are cars riding inside them to escape? How can a car hold the tools necessary to repair other cars? Can the planes and cars feel pain?). At best boring, at worst confusing and frustrating, this sequel is a definite miss.
Well, the cars and planes drink oil. Budweiser would probably be a safe bet. Some kind of cheap beer.
-Drink whenever Dusty gets close to the red part of his speedometer.
-Drink whenever Dipper sexually harasses Dusty (It's funny when a girl does it, right?)
-Drink whenever Windlifter does something mystical.
-Drink whenever you see fire. Heh heh heh.
-Drink for jokes that would go over a child's head. We're talking small children here.
This review was written by Hollis Beck (Krissy Pappau). "Planes: Fire and Rescue" is distributed by Walt Disney Studios, and produced by DisneyToon Studios and Prana Studios. The film is rated PG with a runtime of 83 minutes.