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                             Jersey Boys

6/24/2014

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"Oh, Come On, This Sounds like my Grandmother's Music."

Picture
I’ll never understand exactly why the Four Seasons became a popular band. I get that they’re important, as musical acts go, but Frank Valli’s voice always sounded like a hamster in a blender to me. That’s probably the generation gap for you. The problem is, this movie doesn’t convince me that they deserve to be remembered.
“Jersey Boys” is an overlong film that still has problems hammering out exactly what it wants to be. When the events of a person’s life is adapted to film, especially when the person(s) is still alive, the issue becomes how to tell a dramatically interesting story while still staying respectful to the lives of the people involved. This becomes problematic when you take into account that life is messy and there usually isn’t a straightforward narrative or theme inherent in any person’s story, even if that person is famous and talented. The worst result, as is the case with “Jersey Boys”, is a mélange of disparate scenes stitched together in a dramatic fashion. “Jersey Boys” compounds the problem even more because it’s not only adapting the story of the members of the Four Seasons, it’s adapting a stage musical version of this story to film. The leftover dramatic conventions, like the four boys taking turns narrating every once in a while, only further bog down the story.

Clint Eastwood directed this film, and you can see him trying to put his stamp on the piece, playing with color and light and staging in order to bring out a story that isn’t being told by the text. The characters in the film take being from Bellville as a matter of pride (hell, the title tells us this is the most special thing about them), but all the scenes shot there seemed liked faded wallpaper compared to the vibrancy of the scenes shot at the peak of their careers. The text tells us that Tommy DeVito (played by Vincent Piazza) is a messed up kid who made some bad decisions that can ultimately be forgiven, while the film tells us that he’s an abusive tyrant who nearly jeopardized any chance of success the Four Seasons had. The text tells us that Bob Gaudio is straight and perfectly happy in his marriage, but I was waiting at the edge of my seat for him to hop into bed with their manager (played by Mike Doyle, who completely stole every scene for me) because of the INTENSE chemistry the two characters shared every time they were on screen. Or maybe I was so bored by the many, many plot threads that were left untied that I was ITCHING for an illicit gay love story by that point. Try as he might, Eastwood can’t work against the many, many boundaries the film places on itself just by existing.

The music is insanely catchy. I’ve been humming “Big Girls Don’t Cry” for a couple days now. But just because the film can talk like a man, it doesn’t mean it can walk like one. This is for Four Seasons die-hards only.

Are there any of those? I’m not sure I’ve ever met one.


Drink:
Oooh, probably whiskey rocks. That's what they seem to be swigging most of the time.

Possible Rules:
-Drink when someone speaks to the camera
-Drink when something happens to inspire a song or aspect of the band's organization
-Drink when they drop a title for the band that ISN'T "The Four Seasons"
-Drink when you see someone smoking
-Drink when someone says something demeaning to or about women (sadly, this happens a lot)

This review is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). "Jersey Boys" is produced and distributed by Warner Bros Entertainment, in conjunction with GK Films and RatPac Entertainment. The film is rated R with a run time of 134 minutes.
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    Base Rules

    1. Thou shalt drink whenever a character on screen drinks

    2. Thou shalt drink when a character speaks of his or her severe Daddy Issues

    3. Thou shalt drink for Title Drops

    4. Thou shalt drink joyously

    5. Thou shalt drink responsibly

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Photo used under Creative Commons from Iwan Gabovitch