"Jesus!" "No, Moses!"
But you know a little part of you wants to sneak away after all the festivities, get some ceremonial wine and call your besties to indulge in a little blasphemous activity. We won't judge you. That's the Lord's job. We're just here to provide structure to your shenanigans, and make sure your drunken escapades are clean and wholesome. And what's more clean and wholesome than the Old Testament?
The river turns into what, now?
"The Drinks of Egypt": The Rules
1. Drink for Title Drops
2. Drink for Daddy Issues. This includes issues with God.
3. Drink when they drink.
4. Drink whenever Moses and Ramses say each other's names. Because brotherly love is the best kind of love.
5. Drink whenever somebody gets whipped.
All of the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink for song title drops. There's only about five songs. But they're doozies.
2. Drink whenever improbably acts of nature occur. Plagues, anyone?
All of the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink whenever somebody mentions a deity.
Pooh Daddy: Once commissioned a statue in his image (Easy).
Seb: Has been mistaken for Anubis. (Medium).
Shirley Whiskas: Feels pretty bad for Moses (Medium).
The Fuzzy Masked Man: Raids pyramids (Hard).
You have no idea of what you're in for, in the best possible way. Enjoy The Prince of Egypt!
"Why Don't I Remember this Movie?"
In one scene, Moses has a dream about his origins and how he came to live in the palace, told through crazy hieroglyphics. I am ashamed I didn't remember that a beautiful scene like that exists in the world.
Not that the movie's perfect. For some reason, Dreamworks was still trying to gear this movie towards children, and the more childish elements of the movie stand out. There's a difference between parting the red sea and using, as Seb and the Bishop called it, "The magical power of song" to force your long-lost brother to remember you.
And you know what? For the most part, they succeeded with this movie. One aspect of the film elevated it from a decent adaptation to a GREAT one.
It's a Family Drama!
More importantly, any family drama is served with a big heaping side dish of Daddy Issues. We got our money's worth with this movie, especially since this movie has religious themes. They do say that God is the father of us all.
For any of you wondering about the Daddy Issues rule, this movie is chock full of examples. There's Rameses' eternal struggle to please his father and prove to him, even in death that he has the potential to be a great Pharaoh.
Do I have to say more?
The bromance between Rameses and Moses is handled with much more depth and care even than with Moses' relationship with his future wife, Tzipporah. Part of the reason why Rameses gets all stubborn and kingly during his reign is because of his anger at Moses' betrayal of his family and their values. He lost the only person who ever supported and cared for him, and now he is alone. The angst is delicious.
"I'm just going to make The Bishop really uncomfortable by pointing out all the evidence," Seb continued, and suddenly each drink taken when the brothers' called each other's names held even more meaning.
For the record, if Seb or anyone else writes fan fiction starring these two, I don't want to read it.
The original Hard Mode rule was "every time someone mentions The Lord", and that's what we played with. Funnily enough, nobody in this movie says the word "Lord". Except in The Plague number, but it's chanted operatically and we were so caught up in the horrifying spectacle that we couldn't understand a word. Looking at the lyrics, it still wouldn't make much of a difference, and I am even more disturbed by the song than I already was.
This sounds like a compliment, until you realize that her actions put herself and her brother Aaron in danger. When Tzipporah escaped from slavery, she had nobody else's life riding on hers if she got caught. Miriam suffers violent outbursts in front of a Prince of Egypt (drink), and although Aaron's a wet noodle by comparison, he has the right idea: stay calm, keep safe, figure out a plan when possible.
None of this keeps me from liking Miriam. It's admirable that she has so much fire in her after years of being beaten down by oppressors. But it seems she never learned common sense during that time, and that's worrisome. The kicker comes when Moses kills a slave master who's whipping Miriam and Aaron. When Moses recoils in horror at what he's done, Miriam puts out a comforting hand and tries to touch him.
Pooh Daddy knew what she meant. "You do not touch the Pharaoh's son!" he added.
Which is a good point. Miriam, what were you seriously thinking? Yes, you're overjoyed about finding your brother and all, but at the very least you could have gotten your hand cut off. At most, someone might have thought that you were conspiring with Moses to overthrow the Empire and you all would have died.
This is why secret rebellious factions are so popular.
This movie is AWESOME. Drinking to it was also AWESOME. I highly recommend checking it out if you've never watched it and playing this game. Here are some extra rules if you'd like any.
Drink whenever someone talks about "Letting People Go".
I thought Moses only said this once, maybe twice. No. It's a repeated command. And it's fun to toast to. Yay, freedom from enslavement!
Drink whenever the word "Deliver" is used or alluded to.
This doesn't count "Deliver Us", because you're already drinking on the song title drop rule for that, but Moses is called "The Deliverer" several times. At one point, he even delivers a baby lamb! Yay, symbolism!
Drink whenever someone spits on something.
Shirley drank for this after a camel spit on Moses in the desert. We all stared at her.
"Isn't that a rule?" she said, sheepishly.
It is now, Shirley. It is now.