"Fun Fact: the Porn Version Looks Almost Exactly the Same".
Happy Halloween, everybody! Last year we looked at a children's classic, and this year we're looking at one of the more successful thrillers of modern cinema.
"Paranormal Activity" revived several trends in horror flicks, most notably the hand-held "found footage" set-up popularized by "The Blair Witch Project". The first film especially was a modest effort. Two actors, the director, no camera crew, a WEEK of shooting and a miniscule budget resulted in what eventually became a blockbuster hit, spawning several sequels (including one that comes out this year). It's arguably one of the greatest success stories of independent cinema. Legend has it that while watching the premiere people walked out of the theatre, not because the film was bad but because audience members were so scared that they couldn't take it anymore.
We here at For Your Inebriation have already established that we're skeptical folks. We ain't afraid of no ghosts. So how did we react to this modern-day spookfest? Join us for the "Paranormal Activity" drinking game!
"Paranormal Activity" revived several trends in horror flicks, most notably the hand-held "found footage" set-up popularized by "The Blair Witch Project". The first film especially was a modest effort. Two actors, the director, no camera crew, a WEEK of shooting and a miniscule budget resulted in what eventually became a blockbuster hit, spawning several sequels (including one that comes out this year). It's arguably one of the greatest success stories of independent cinema. Legend has it that while watching the premiere people walked out of the theatre, not because the film was bad but because audience members were so scared that they couldn't take it anymore.
We here at For Your Inebriation have already established that we're skeptical folks. We ain't afraid of no ghosts. So how did we react to this modern-day spookfest? Join us for the "Paranormal Activity" drinking game!
"Paranormal Drunktivity": The Rules
For our drink of choice this All Hallow's Eve, we picked hot toddies. Get a nice bourbon or cognac, add hot water and lemon juice, and warm up your insides.
To combat the chills the movie will give you, you see.
Easy Mode
1. Drink for Title Drops. That's the full title, "Paranormal Activity".
2. Drink for Daddy Issues
3. Drink when They Drink
4. Drink when someone verbally expresses fear. This can be a scream, or simply someone saying "I'm scared".
5. Drink when the found footage is examined by the characters.
Medium Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink for actual Paranormal Activity. Whenever that demon comes out to play, bottoms up.
2. Drink for domestic activity. An upsetting amount of this movie is just Katie and Micah dicking around their living room.
3. Drink when we see the face of the primary camera holder. In the first film, that's Micah.
Hard Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink when a date and time is given. Notably, when the film straight up tells you that it's "Night ------"
2. Drink for evidence of middle class wealth. We'll get to that
3. Drink for extreme close-ups
1. Drink for Title Drops. That's the full title, "Paranormal Activity".
2. Drink for Daddy Issues
3. Drink when They Drink
4. Drink when someone verbally expresses fear. This can be a scream, or simply someone saying "I'm scared".
5. Drink when the found footage is examined by the characters.
Medium Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink for actual Paranormal Activity. Whenever that demon comes out to play, bottoms up.
2. Drink for domestic activity. An upsetting amount of this movie is just Katie and Micah dicking around their living room.
3. Drink when we see the face of the primary camera holder. In the first film, that's Micah.
Hard Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink when a date and time is given. Notably, when the film straight up tells you that it's "Night ------"
2. Drink for evidence of middle class wealth. We'll get to that
3. Drink for extreme close-ups
Usually on something gross like this
Ideally, these rules can be used for ANY of the Paranormal Activity movies, but I haven't seen any of the sequels so I don't know how well the rules work for them. Try it out on your own and see!
The Players
The players for this game are...
Krissy Pappau: Scardey-cat (Medium)
Pooh Daddy: Waiting for the last fifteen minutes (Easy)
Williams: Never had a camera-toting friend (Easy)
Some Guy: Prefers more surreal horror films (Medium)
Dame Poppy Middleton: Hates Micah (Hard)
Shirley Whiskas: Double-hates Micah (Hard)
Dijan de Nero: Thinks Micah might have some good points (Hard)
Gunter: Doesn't understand how anyone could outdo Kubrick (Hard)
Krissy Pappau: Scardey-cat (Medium)
Pooh Daddy: Waiting for the last fifteen minutes (Easy)
Williams: Never had a camera-toting friend (Easy)
Some Guy: Prefers more surreal horror films (Medium)
Dame Poppy Middleton: Hates Micah (Hard)
Shirley Whiskas: Double-hates Micah (Hard)
Dijan de Nero: Thinks Micah might have some good points (Hard)
Gunter: Doesn't understand how anyone could outdo Kubrick (Hard)
Scary Rich
"Paranormal Activity" centers around a young couple named Katie and Micah, who are attempting to track down a ghost (sorry, demon) who has haunted Katie for her entire life, apart from taking short breaks to...haunt someone else I guess, I don't know. The film centers on these characters' efforts to track down the demon using only a digital camera and whatever supernatural paraphernalia Micah can get his hands on.
Micah doesn't get to keep his toys for very long.
Katie and Micah are supposed to represent the everyman and -woman, implying that this sort of thing could happen to any of us. We weren't buying it. Because, if you look at the above photo, you can see a wide-screen television, two leather sofas and a matching recliner, hardwood flooring, and some kind of DVR over there in the corner.
These people are solidly middle-class bitches. All the characters in the "Paranormal Activity" films are. This made Katie and Micah feel a little less relatable for our crew, but it helped our game immensely; for every object I pointed out earlier, we took another drink.
Hell, even the camera is a luxury that we can't afford. Micah says at the start of the film that the camera cost half of what he made that day at work. What's confusing is that Micah is a day trader, and Katie is a student. Neither of them have jobs that should give them the money to buy, or even rent, this kind of house, which is complete with two guest bedrooms and a backyard.
"Look at this place," Shirley Whiskas said as the camera panned around the second story. "You could easily fit five more people in here."
"Technically they have a roommate," Dame Poppy pointed out.
These people are solidly middle-class bitches. All the characters in the "Paranormal Activity" films are. This made Katie and Micah feel a little less relatable for our crew, but it helped our game immensely; for every object I pointed out earlier, we took another drink.
Hell, even the camera is a luxury that we can't afford. Micah says at the start of the film that the camera cost half of what he made that day at work. What's confusing is that Micah is a day trader, and Katie is a student. Neither of them have jobs that should give them the money to buy, or even rent, this kind of house, which is complete with two guest bedrooms and a backyard.
"Look at this place," Shirley Whiskas said as the camera panned around the second story. "You could easily fit five more people in here."
"Technically they have a roommate," Dame Poppy pointed out.
"Is a demon any worse than a really crap roommate?" -Gunter
Really, though, the straw that broke the camel's back was when, after the first night of filming, the camera cuts to Micah and Katie splashing around in their very own...
"They have a POOL?" Poppy cried.
"They have a POOL?" Poppy cried.
LOOK AT HOW BIG THAT POOL IS
It's only fair to give some context, here. We all live in Brooklyn. My apartment is about as big as that pool. So really we're all just whining about all the things we can't afford because the rent is too damn high. This begs the question, though: why don't more movies about hauntings and demon possession take place in New York? Especially since demons are supposed to gather around places filled with negative energy. Unless everyone living here is already possessed.
That would explain a lot of things. But I can't afford to hire a demonologist, so we'll never know for sure.
That would explain a lot of things. But I can't afford to hire a demonologist, so we'll never know for sure.
Somewhere there's a website full of thinkpieces written by demons explaining why they left New York City.
Relationship Issues
Most successful horror films use horror tropes to mask deeper themes. This causes the general spookiness and tension to amplify and carry more meaning than it would if it was just scary stuff for scary stuff's sake. "Paranormal Activity", for example, is about how you should listen to your girlfriend.
I'm only sort of joking. The film sets up pretty clearly that the growing presence of the demon in their house is caused by the discontent forming between Micah and Katie. Obviously, when your boyfriend brings home a video camera and starts following you around with it, it's going to make you irritated, but if he then proceeds to mock a very real fear you have while holding said camera, it might make you want to feed him to the ghost.
The strength of this film is how much Katie and Micah do feel like a real couple. They argue about dumb shit, they goof around on their couch (or in their pool), they have inside jokes. But they obviously have some fundamental problems with their relationship. Micah does not come off very well in this film, as he is presented as the main aggravator to the demonic presence in their house. Any chance he gets he tries to communicate with the demon, antagonize it, or threaten it, and whenever he does so, things get much worse.
This is really shitty because Katie, his long-term girlfriend, is constantly telling him not to do these things and he does them anyway. He's straight-up ignoring her, playing down her fear and refusing to consider that he might be part of the problem. Shirley Whiskas and Dame Poppy especially spent a good portion of the film heckling Micah's poor decisions, and Shirley's opinion of Katie lowered because she chose to date him in the first place.
I'm only sort of joking. The film sets up pretty clearly that the growing presence of the demon in their house is caused by the discontent forming between Micah and Katie. Obviously, when your boyfriend brings home a video camera and starts following you around with it, it's going to make you irritated, but if he then proceeds to mock a very real fear you have while holding said camera, it might make you want to feed him to the ghost.
The strength of this film is how much Katie and Micah do feel like a real couple. They argue about dumb shit, they goof around on their couch (or in their pool), they have inside jokes. But they obviously have some fundamental problems with their relationship. Micah does not come off very well in this film, as he is presented as the main aggravator to the demonic presence in their house. Any chance he gets he tries to communicate with the demon, antagonize it, or threaten it, and whenever he does so, things get much worse.
This is really shitty because Katie, his long-term girlfriend, is constantly telling him not to do these things and he does them anyway. He's straight-up ignoring her, playing down her fear and refusing to consider that he might be part of the problem. Shirley Whiskas and Dame Poppy especially spent a good portion of the film heckling Micah's poor decisions, and Shirley's opinion of Katie lowered because she chose to date him in the first place.
"Go sleep in one of your guest bedrooms, you dick!" -Shirley Whiskas
Now, in Micah's defense, he clearly cares about her. When Katie's in distress, he comes running immediately and during the worst parts of this film he is very adamant about protecting her. He just has no clue about what he's getting himself into, and his confusion makes him do stupid shit. Katie tells him several times that they should call in the experts and he refuses, believing that he can take care of everything himself. He only gives in to her when the supernatural stuff happening around them can no longer be laughed off or ignored, and by that time it's much too late.
As Some Guy points out, the two of them feel like a real couple in that this relationship shows all the marks of being under strain, of being workable and good most of the time but unable to weather any real stress. If the demon wasn't real, if Katie just suffered from paranoid delusions or even extreme anxiety, Micah would still be doing the wrong thing by insisting that he's the only one who can protect her. This is especially true because Katie's been here before and knows what this demon is capable of, so the fact that the person she trusts is ignoring her opinion is bullshit. This makes her deterioration near the end of the film even sadder, because even if an "expert" in the field couldn't help her, he could give her the illusion of safety. Micah can only give promises he can't keep, and his machismo gets them both in serious trouble.
Kids, the lesson here is to not date people who don't listen to you. Or else a demon will possess your body and kill him.
As Some Guy points out, the two of them feel like a real couple in that this relationship shows all the marks of being under strain, of being workable and good most of the time but unable to weather any real stress. If the demon wasn't real, if Katie just suffered from paranoid delusions or even extreme anxiety, Micah would still be doing the wrong thing by insisting that he's the only one who can protect her. This is especially true because Katie's been here before and knows what this demon is capable of, so the fact that the person she trusts is ignoring her opinion is bullshit. This makes her deterioration near the end of the film even sadder, because even if an "expert" in the field couldn't help her, he could give her the illusion of safety. Micah can only give promises he can't keep, and his machismo gets them both in serious trouble.
Kids, the lesson here is to not date people who don't listen to you. Or else a demon will possess your body and kill him.
"It's all hubris, it's a wonderful Greek Tragedy." -Shirley Whiskas
Why is Nobody Screaming?
You probably don't care about all the emotional subtext though, right? You want to know if this movie is scary. If you have the strength to watch it alone, at night, in the dark in your pajamas with your stuffed animal bodyguards surrounding you.
Well...if you want to get scared, I can tell you what you shouldn't do. You shouldn't watch this movie surrounded by drunk assholes who are tearing down the production value. Or picking apart the plot holes. Or talking over the slow bits.
Well...if you want to get scared, I can tell you what you shouldn't do. You shouldn't watch this movie surrounded by drunk assholes who are tearing down the production value. Or picking apart the plot holes. Or talking over the slow bits.
"Oh my God, it's Pretty Normal Activity!" -Some Guy
Yeah, this isn't a film you should hype up in your head. I was plenty scared by it when I was watching it alone, but most of my mates just weren't impressed. Gunter tore apart the sound editing, complained that he couldn't hear what the characters were saying and likened their speech to the adults on "Charlie Brown". On the other side of the coin, Williams thought the subject matter just wasn't horrific enough. She rattled off some films that revolved around child abuse, domestic violence and extreme gore, and felt that compared to those "Paranormal Activity" didn't stack up.
These criticisms are totally valid. "Paranormal Activity" doesn't do anything that you haven't seen before. What it does is take old horror film tropes and presents them in a way that SEEMS new and fresh. For example, midway through the film Katie gets temporarily possessed and wanders around their house, eventually ending up in their backyard where she sits on their gorgeous porch swing until Micah retrieves her.
These criticisms are totally valid. "Paranormal Activity" doesn't do anything that you haven't seen before. What it does is take old horror film tropes and presents them in a way that SEEMS new and fresh. For example, midway through the film Katie gets temporarily possessed and wanders around their house, eventually ending up in their backyard where she sits on their gorgeous porch swing until Micah retrieves her.
"It's sixty degrees outside, you'll freeze to death!" -Dijan de Nero
When they return to their bedroom, their TV is on and emitting static. This is especially weird because, as Dame Poppy points out, if this film were made any later their television would probably have been digital and there would be no possible way static could show up on the screen.
It's a classic shot and there are many like it. What the whole movie amounts to is a bunch of stage magic pulled of exceedingly well. Pooh Daddy and I had to keep reminding people that there was no camera crew on this set. All of these tricks were pulled off manually, and in such a way that you can't see the strings. These stage tricks coupled with the straight-faced usage of horror film standbys such as "photograph that should have been destroyed" and "spontaneously shattering glass", as well as ample time used to build tension make this at the very least an entertaining and interesting film, if not a scary one. On a purely technical level, this movie earns its reputation as a modern horror classic.
It's a classic shot and there are many like it. What the whole movie amounts to is a bunch of stage magic pulled of exceedingly well. Pooh Daddy and I had to keep reminding people that there was no camera crew on this set. All of these tricks were pulled off manually, and in such a way that you can't see the strings. These stage tricks coupled with the straight-faced usage of horror film standbys such as "photograph that should have been destroyed" and "spontaneously shattering glass", as well as ample time used to build tension make this at the very least an entertaining and interesting film, if not a scary one. On a purely technical level, this movie earns its reputation as a modern horror classic.
The Results
This game, with the current rules, is very effective. On medium mode I got reasonably drunk by about midway through the film, and even easy players were in a good place by the end. If you'd like to trade in my rules for some other ones, here are a few suggestions.
Drink whenever someone says the word "demon".
Since the film doesn't get a proper title drop at any point, this is the closest thing.
Drink when Micah or Katie mention another person by name.
Being hunted by a demon makes you pretty self-involved, but occasionally they'll bring up the demonologist who's supposed to help them, or family members.
Drink when Katie and Micah get in a fight.
Drink whenever someone says the word "demon".
Since the film doesn't get a proper title drop at any point, this is the closest thing.
Drink when Micah or Katie mention another person by name.
Being hunted by a demon makes you pretty self-involved, but occasionally they'll bring up the demonologist who's supposed to help them, or family members.
Drink when Katie and Micah get in a fight.
"Somebody's not getting laid before they die." -Some Guy
We've been tackling some heavy films lately, so it might be a good time to look at something lighter. Time to put on make-up, maybe, time to dress up right.
Nothing less scary than a muppet. Right?
Like what you see? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, at For Your Inebriation and @KrissyPappau respectively. You'll get weekly updates, behind the scenes drunk talk, and other chatter!
For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). All "Paranormal Activity" images are owned by Paramount Pictures.
For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). All "Paranormal Activity" images are owned by Paramount Pictures.
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