"I Didn't Realize What a Sausage Fest this Movie Was."
I hadn't made a drinking game for a heist flick yet, so I thought, what better place to start than with this film? We ran into some unexpected pitfalls while play-testing this particular game, but one thing's for sure: you can fully expect to be hit hard and fast by these rules. When it comes to making drinking games, I don't play around.
"Ocean's Eleven Cocktails": The Rules
I made a lot of appletinis that night.
1. Title drops: Drink whenever the full title, "Ocean's Eleven", is dropped.
2. Drink when they drink.
3. Drink for Daddy Issues.
4. Drink when someone says a number. And remember, a heist is a numbers game.
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Title Drops: Drink when someone says the word "Ocean".
2. Drink when a floorplan is shown. I'd like to expand this rule to any scale model or interior spec of their target.
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink when someone questions the plan.
Krissy Pappau: The Leader (Medium)
Some Guy: The Greasman (Easy)
Champjagne Austgin: The Femme Fetale (Medium)
Big Moose: The Seasoned Veteran (Hard)
Levi: The One who Questions the Plan (Hard)
Pooh Daddy: The Lookout (Sober and loving it)
The Early 2000's
The early 2000's were a strange time, the kind of strange that seems unremarkable until you take a hard look back on it and wonder what the fuck we were thinking. Some good things came out of it, but from 2000 until maybe around 2006 (if I'm being generous), the culture was putting out a wave of art that was several different shades of bad. This film is like a microcosm of the early 2000's.
I'm not calling this film a bad film by any means. But in many ways, it's mediocre or at least unimaginative. The film opens on Danny Ocean's release from prison, and each scene is awash with blue hues.
Get it? Because they literally took his breath away? This movie practically writes itself.
Once again, none of these choices are bad, but they're a tad ornamental and gaudy. The early 2000's (the whole decade really) was very concerned with appearance, concerned with looking good and covering up anything weird or sad we might be feeling deep down inside. Entertainment was smooth, often loud and boisterous, made to distract everyone watching it or listening to it from any crap that might be bubbling up below the surface. Ocean's Eleven is all style and little substance is what I'm saying. An enormous amount of craft was put into this film, but not as much thought. You can pin a lot of this on director Steven Soderbergh, but it also seems to be a sign of the times.
"I think we had shitty music in 2001, too," Big Moose piped up, firing up the Google app on his phone. Sure enough, 2001 is the year that brought us hits such as Train's "Drops of Jupiter", "Smooth Criminal" (by Alien Ant Farm), and of course, Nickleback's "How You Remind Me."
Case. In. Fucking. Point.
Men, Men, Men
Fair to middling. The obvious problem is that there are far too many characters in this film to flesh out completely. The human brain can only safely keep seven sequential numbers memorized. Any higher than that and it becomes more difficult. Eleven main characters, all with dreams and ambitions? Probably not going to happen. But damn it all if they don't have traits.
The movie spends most of its time focusing, of course, on Ocean and his right-hand man, Brad Pitt (or Rusty). Brad Pitt is fond of putting things in his mouth. In nearly every shot, you can see him eating, smoking, or drinking.
The rest of them...they all have their moments, weaving through the plot and coming in and out of focus. But we remember most of them for the wrong reasons. Bernie Mac sticks in our minds for his atrocious costumes.
Wait, I'm missing somebody...
Damn. Forgot about her. Yes, yes she is.
"Yaaaaay. Is she good?"
"She's a girl," Levi replied.
Yeaaaaah, that sums it up.
Pretty sure their marriage would have fallen apart at some point anyway, what with Clooney landing in jail most of the time and his complete lack of onscreen chemistry with Roberts. Pretty run-of-the mill stuff going on here. Not sure why I brought it up.
I would like to put forth the theory, though, that Julia Roberts as an actress is the female equivalent of George Clooney. They're both around the same age, they star in similar movies (often portraying the wayward soul finding his/her way back to what's important), and they're both stunning people to look at.
Levi was slightly miffed at the comparison, having a high opinion of Roberts' talent and labelling Clooney as "just a handsome face". Honestly, I've never been really impressed by Julia Roberts, but I do believe she has the chops. So maybe it's more that she's a capable actress but rarely has the chance to show off, while Clooney is less talented by comparison but gets meatier roles.
For the record, in this particular film, the two of them are both pieces of eye candy. All we could really focus on for the first ten minutes of the film was how George Clooney is more handsome than we all remember.
Too Drunk to Function
I finished my first martini about fifteen minutes into the film, and then switched to gin and tonic. There's a brief lull around the middle of the film when the actual heist is happening, but for the most part, it's a constant barrage of drinkable moments being thrown at you, courtesy of one rule in particular: the numbers rule.
I feel like both a genius and an idiot for thinking of this rule. It's tailor made for the heist genre: a genre where the most important thing to the characters is how much they're stealing, how long it's going to take to get from point A to point B, and the dimensions of the building they're robbing. It's a quick way to turn boring exposition into something that's fun for the whole family!
There was a lot of that. Like how at one point I was convinced that Ocean's first name was "Frank", which would make this a completely different movie.
I say there are far worse. This is a great movie to watch if you're looking for a fun time that doesn't strain your brain, but still avoids insulting your intelligence.
Drink for any instance of gambling
This mostly happens in the first half of the movie, but the majority of the film does take place in a casino.
Drink when you hear improvisational jazz
One of the weirder music choices in this film. Not the weirdest, though.
Drink when Brad Pitt puts something in his mouth.
You didn't think we'd forget about that, did you?
For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). All "Ocean's Eleven" footage and images are owned by Warner Bros. Pictures.