"I've Done Something Terrible!"
Random senseless violence.
That's right, our Holiday drinking games are going to involve the baddest, bloodiest movies that have ever graced the winter season (without going into campy territory. Nobody wants to play a drinking game to "Jack Frost", right?). We begin with a game for our favorite "Christmas" movie: In Bruges. The story of two hitmen who get sent on holiday by their potty-mouthed boss after an assasination gone awry, to the most magical town in all of Belgium.
Never seen this movie? Experience the wonder and delight in Martin McDonagh's tight, beautiful story of guilt, friendship, and the beliefs people are willing to die for. All in fucking Bruges.
"In Booze": The Rules
1. Drink for fucking title drops. That's whenever someone says "In Bruges".
2. Drink when they fucking drink.
3. Drink for fucking daddy issues.
4. Drink when anyone says "fuck".
5. Drink when people make jokes about someone's fucking nationality. Or race. Either of those work, you're in fucking Bruges.
6. Drink when Ray and Ken say each other's fucking names. That's right, peeps, we've got another bromance on our hands.
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Fucking Title drops: Drink when someone says "Bruges"
2. Drink when someone gets fucking hurt
3. Drink when when someone talks to a person they can't fucking see. That's phone calls, talking through walls...confession booths...
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink whenever someone fucking complains about fucking Bruges
2. Drink when you see a fucking gun. Drink twice if it's fucking used.
Krissy Pappau: Forgot...everything...about this movie (Easy)
Pooh Daddy: Put together all the tiny pieces (Easy)
Big Moose: Quit halfway through (Medium)
Velma Jinkies: Insert Arrested Development meme here (Hard)
Hope you had a satisfying Christmas dinner. And I hope it all stays down once you play this game. It's "In Bruges".
My New Favorite Rule
It's such a visceral word, yet so quick to roll off the tongue. It has so many versitile uses. You feel the same sense of power taking a sip when you hear the word as you do when you say the word. I want to use this rule all the time. However, I feel like I won't get the returns I got from this game with any other movie.
This movie is one of the few hard "R" rated films I've reviewed; in fact, I think the other one was "Passion of the Christ". This film is a lot more fun to watch.
All this to say, McDonagh is interested in writing about violence, primarily perpetuated by men, primarily within the context of organized crime. There are plenty of filmmakers who can lay claim to these interests as well, but few recognize a simple truth about drama: that to first make someone cry, you must make them laugh.
On a simple level, there's a childlike thrill we all experience when we hear the word "fuck". And when you hear it as many fucking times as you do in this movie, you don't become desensitized to the word: the word becomes funnier. McDonagh KNOWS this, just as he knows the differences between a play and a film. He knows what works in a movie's structure, he's a master of both dramatic and comedic timing, and he knows how to create characters who can interact with each other in interesting ways in an interesting setting. He KNOWS how to tell stories.
If you glance at reviews for this film, you'll rarely find a bad one. You'll find plenty that label the film as "provocative" due to the language and the content. But even people who would normally be offended by the material this movie provides just can't bring themselves to hate it. It's too fucking well made.
McDonagh should get most of the credit for this, but a solid portion of it should go to his stellar cast.
This is the conversation:
Ray: A lot of midgets tend to kill themselves. A disproportionate amount, actually. Hervé Villechaize off of Fantasy Island. I think somebody from the Time Bandits did. I suppose they must get really sad about like... being really little and that... people looking at them, laughing at them, calling them names. You know, "short arse". There's another famous midget. I miss him but I can't remember. It's not the R2D2 man; no, he's still going. I hope your midget doesn't kill himself. Your dream sequence will be fucked.
Chloë: He doesn't like being called a midget. He prefers dwarf.
Ray: This is exactly my point! People going around calling you a midget when you want to be called a dwarf. Of course you're going to blow your head off.
"Yeah," said Moose, "but he's such a GOOD boy."
If you look at the film as a whole, there are many references to lost youth. The movie is filled with men who've never grown up, children who never had the chance to grow up, and one character who literally can't grow up.
Ken, by contrast, may be the only stable adult in the movie, which is appropriate since most of the action is put into effect by him or Harry (who's just too dynamic to be a passive character). All Ken wants to do is enjoy his forced vacation and cheer Ray up, which is impossible due to Ray's constant bitching. Ray and Ken's push-pull dynamic wonderfully leads to both comedy and tragedy, as Ray becomes more difficult to save and Ken becomes more intent on his rescue. Ken sees Ray as a child that he must protect, even to the point of putting his own life first.
Honestly, I'm not sure if this was all intentional. I don't really care. I don't think McDonagh cares either. It's a good story, well told, and the fact that motifs spring out at me after repeated watchings just drives that point home even more.
And I'm running out of different ways to say I love this movie, but that's really all I want to say. It's a fucking good movie. And it gets better every time I see it.
A Little Bit Drunk
I haven't mentioned gameplay in a while because there hasn't been a game I've made recently that's knocked people on their asses. This one, let me make clear, is a doozey.
We began the movie. THIS is the very first scene.
Sixteen minutes into the movie, Ken receives a telegram from Harry which is replete with f-bombs. There's another seven drinks. And that's after we've been pretty steadily drinking from a smattering of f-bombs during the course of the exposition.
Martin McDonagh don't fuck around. And neither do I.
About an hour into the movie, Moose had to stop drinking altogether. He had consumed a whiskey ginger, a vodka ginger and (here's where he probably went wrong) a large glass of white wine. The rest of his night was spent lying on the couch.
"I got drunk on Medium Mode," he moaned. "MEDIUM"
As the easy player, I was more than a bit fuzzy by the end of the game, to the point where details about the ending were muddled. Velma, a stout beer drinker, had drunk five bud light limaritas (protip: don't do this). He steadily grew sillier.
If you REALLY want other rules...
Drink when you see a work of art
That's buildings, paintings...hell, what do you call art? Is this film a work of art? Oh God, I've made a mistake.
Drink when you see a body of water.
Watch out especially for the canal. It's a big fucking canal.
Drink for...just drink.
Drink the pain away, friends, drink it all away.
How on earth can we top this magnificent movie? What other Christmas movie exemplifies such baddassery?
For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). Video footage is taken by Pooh Daddy (Vincent Graham) and edited by Seb (Amy Yourd). All "In Bruges" images are owned by Focus Features and Universal.