Drink ALL the Wine
This is by far the longest game we've played here at For Your Inebriation. The Godfather is an epic, clocking in at just under three hours of backstabbing, power-grabbing and high-stakes negotiation. Believe me when I say, though, that the length of the movie will not make the game any less difficult.
Ideally, this game can be used for any of the movies in the Godfather trilogy, but for the purposes of our test, we used the first in the series. We treated the game like a party. People were constantly coming in and out, we ordered a pizza, and the wine flowed like a river. A dark, slow movie like this didn't seem likely to be a huge conversation piece, but it was, and we all had a blast.
But what you really want to know, I bet, is how many bottles of wine we went through that night. The answer is six. Read on, good friends.
Ideally, this game can be used for any of the movies in the Godfather trilogy, but for the purposes of our test, we used the first in the series. We treated the game like a party. People were constantly coming in and out, we ordered a pizza, and the wine flowed like a river. A dark, slow movie like this didn't seem likely to be a huge conversation piece, but it was, and we all had a blast.
But what you really want to know, I bet, is how many bottles of wine we went through that night. The answer is six. Read on, good friends.
"The (OH GOD)father": Rules
We drank copious amounts of red wine. This is a classy movie, man. Don't get your beer or your liquors mixed up with this. Stick with fine, Italian stock.
With flavors as subtle and nuanced as the acting.
Easy Mode
1. Drink for Title Drops. Simple. That's every time they say "Godfather".
2. Drink when they drink
3. Drink for daddy issues. We'll explore that later
4. Drink for monologues. For simplicity's sake, that's thirty seconds or more of uninterrupted speech.
5. Drink for physical displays of affection. Italians are very touchy-feely.
6. Drink for gunshots. NOT INDIVIDUAL SHOTS
Medium Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink when there is a child or an infant present on screen. Only once per scene, that's all you'll need.
2. Drink when someone speaks in Italian. It only takes one word.
3. Drink when some variation on the phrase "The Don wants you" is used.
Hard Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink during negotiations.
2. Drink when someone smokes.
3. Drink for blood.
1. Drink for Title Drops. Simple. That's every time they say "Godfather".
2. Drink when they drink
3. Drink for daddy issues. We'll explore that later
4. Drink for monologues. For simplicity's sake, that's thirty seconds or more of uninterrupted speech.
5. Drink for physical displays of affection. Italians are very touchy-feely.
6. Drink for gunshots. NOT INDIVIDUAL SHOTS
Medium Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink when there is a child or an infant present on screen. Only once per scene, that's all you'll need.
2. Drink when someone speaks in Italian. It only takes one word.
3. Drink when some variation on the phrase "The Don wants you" is used.
Hard Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink during negotiations.
2. Drink when someone smokes.
3. Drink for blood.
ESPECIALLY horse blood
The Players
Our onscreen players for this game are Krissy (me), Champjagne Austgin, and a new member, Cabby. We indulged in a spot of target practice.
Our offscreen players include...
The Fuzzy Masked Man: The Informant (Easy)
Pooh Daddy: The Gun (Easy)
Some Guy: The Consigliere (Easy)
Big Moose: The Girlfriend (Medium)
Shirley Whiskas: The Moll (Medium)
Dijan de Nero: The Heir (Medium)
The Bishop: The Don (Medium)
Talk about offers you can't refuse. I wouldn't refuse another glass of wine!
...They can't all be good.
The Fuzzy Masked Man: The Informant (Easy)
Pooh Daddy: The Gun (Easy)
Some Guy: The Consigliere (Easy)
Big Moose: The Girlfriend (Medium)
Shirley Whiskas: The Moll (Medium)
Dijan de Nero: The Heir (Medium)
The Bishop: The Don (Medium)
Talk about offers you can't refuse. I wouldn't refuse another glass of wine!
...They can't all be good.
Be Italian
This movie is filled with the most Italian Italians that ever Italianed.
So much so that we were compelled to order a pizza about twenty minutes in. Upon its arrival, Champjagne Austgin remarked that it "smelled like The Godfather".
So much so that we were compelled to order a pizza about twenty minutes in. Upon its arrival, Champjagne Austgin remarked that it "smelled like The Godfather".
The idea of Marlon Brando smelling like pepperoni doesn't surprise me.
And yes, the sheer amount of Italian jokes and Family Guy style "boopity-bappity" noises only multiplied as we got more intoxicated. But in all seriousness, you can't help but feel transported while you're watching this movie, especially because of the sheer amount of intimate, cultural, family-oriented scenes it contains.
Part of what makes this movie wonderful is that amidst all of the guns and gore, you get to see a lot of really nice details about the personal lives of these five families. Yes, they're all governed by the mafia (which, awesome enough, is a word that is never used in the movie), but everyone else seems to get along, there's plenty of intermingling, there's always lots of kids running around (drink). It's like there's an unspoken agreement that all the dangerous crap that goes down be kept very discreet.
The movie has two weddings: one outside of New York and one in Italy. Also, one of the most famous scenes in the movie interlays a baptism and a murderous battle of bullets. The film is constantly holding up contrasts between ceremony and duty, loyalty and obligation, honor and hypocrisy. The two sides of an institutional coin. The darkness hidden beneath a veil of gaity and conviviality.
Thematic elements aside, the best way the movie draws you into its world is through several scenes in which the characters only speak in Sicilian--that is not subtitled. These scenes aren't inconsequential; they usually involve mafiosos attempting to settle debts, strike negotiations, air grievances...y'know, the type of scenes that are the LIFEBLOOD of most dramas. And most of its audiences cannot understand a word.
It's fascinating.
"I wish I could listen to English the way I'm listening to this Italian," said Moose. Forced to focus on the way the characters are communicating instead of the words they are saying, we the audience are not only shown an authentic slice of the film's world, we are shown that there are aspects of the world that we cannot fully comprehend. We listen to the cadence of the speech, the tone, the shape of the words, and we get the general idea. But the details are left in the dark, which adds to the sinister tone of the movie. A beautiful choice on Coppola's part, it proves that sometimes it's best that the audience doesn't know what's going on.
...Kinda makes our lighthearted ribbing seem a little childish.
Part of what makes this movie wonderful is that amidst all of the guns and gore, you get to see a lot of really nice details about the personal lives of these five families. Yes, they're all governed by the mafia (which, awesome enough, is a word that is never used in the movie), but everyone else seems to get along, there's plenty of intermingling, there's always lots of kids running around (drink). It's like there's an unspoken agreement that all the dangerous crap that goes down be kept very discreet.
The movie has two weddings: one outside of New York and one in Italy. Also, one of the most famous scenes in the movie interlays a baptism and a murderous battle of bullets. The film is constantly holding up contrasts between ceremony and duty, loyalty and obligation, honor and hypocrisy. The two sides of an institutional coin. The darkness hidden beneath a veil of gaity and conviviality.
Thematic elements aside, the best way the movie draws you into its world is through several scenes in which the characters only speak in Sicilian--that is not subtitled. These scenes aren't inconsequential; they usually involve mafiosos attempting to settle debts, strike negotiations, air grievances...y'know, the type of scenes that are the LIFEBLOOD of most dramas. And most of its audiences cannot understand a word.
It's fascinating.
"I wish I could listen to English the way I'm listening to this Italian," said Moose. Forced to focus on the way the characters are communicating instead of the words they are saying, we the audience are not only shown an authentic slice of the film's world, we are shown that there are aspects of the world that we cannot fully comprehend. We listen to the cadence of the speech, the tone, the shape of the words, and we get the general idea. But the details are left in the dark, which adds to the sinister tone of the movie. A beautiful choice on Coppola's part, it proves that sometimes it's best that the audience doesn't know what's going on.
...Kinda makes our lighthearted ribbing seem a little childish.
"I'm just glad that Super Mario Bros. re-appropriated the word "Goomba". Into something you jump on." -The Fuzzy Masked Man
Not Pulling Any Punches
"This movie is a lot less scary than I thought it would be," Champjagne remarked about halfway through.
Most of this movie is loaded with people sitting around and talking. What all that negotiation does is make the moments that are bloody as hell really pop.
Let's take a look at that iconic "horse head" scene. It's creepy enough on its own. But it is the first sight of blood the audience gets after over half an hour of non-stop partying at an Italian wedding. Only after 20 minutes of exposition do we get our first look of gore, and it's more than super effective.
"I heard when they filmed that, they didn’t tell him what they were going to do," said Cabby. "They just said there’d be something in the bed." She was close, but the truth is actually much creepier: the scene was practiced with a plastic horse head covered in fake blood. During the real take, they replaced the fake with a real horse head they'd obtained from a factory that manufactured dog food.
Most of this movie is loaded with people sitting around and talking. What all that negotiation does is make the moments that are bloody as hell really pop.
Let's take a look at that iconic "horse head" scene. It's creepy enough on its own. But it is the first sight of blood the audience gets after over half an hour of non-stop partying at an Italian wedding. Only after 20 minutes of exposition do we get our first look of gore, and it's more than super effective.
"I heard when they filmed that, they didn’t tell him what they were going to do," said Cabby. "They just said there’d be something in the bed." She was close, but the truth is actually much creepier: the scene was practiced with a plastic horse head covered in fake blood. During the real take, they replaced the fake with a real horse head they'd obtained from a factory that manufactured dog food.
I mean, if you're gonna do something do it right
"Yeah," said Some Guy, "Why were people bitching so much about Tarantino?" Tarantino treats blood like set dressing, cramming as much carnage and crimson in every shot he can. It's artistic in its boldness and its bombastic treatment. What Coppola's doing is actually a lot more shocking. He teases you with the gore. He rarely makes it glamorous, he rarely even backs it up with music. It's gritty, it's over quickly and it's seldom seen. By focusing on what leads up to the violence, especially when it's usually some kind of civil discussion, it makes the point of impact stand out in our minds.
Because the violence is seen as a direct consequence of negotiation gone wrong, the more talky scenes are actually more chilling. Dijan de Nero labeled the final scene of the movie as the scariest. Michael is confronted by his sister, who accuses him of killing her husband, and he denies it, even though it was his word that resulted in his death.
"He didn't kill him," said Pooh Daddy.
"Right," added Big Moose, "he didn't kill him. He HAD him killed."
Violence is only as terrifying as the one dealing the blows.
Because the violence is seen as a direct consequence of negotiation gone wrong, the more talky scenes are actually more chilling. Dijan de Nero labeled the final scene of the movie as the scariest. Michael is confronted by his sister, who accuses him of killing her husband, and he denies it, even though it was his word that resulted in his death.
"He didn't kill him," said Pooh Daddy.
"Right," added Big Moose, "he didn't kill him. He HAD him killed."
Violence is only as terrifying as the one dealing the blows.
And One for the Ladies
There are three women of any real import in this movie. And they are all basically the same character.
And that's fine.
I am defending the choice to make these female characters relatively passive and one-dimensional, because this movie is not about them. If they possessed any more spirit or will, it would undercut one of the ultimate messages that the movie imparts to the viewers: that the system under which these families operate cannot allow its leaders to operate under any guise of normalcy. They cannot make connections. They cannot show emotion. They cannot afford to seem weak.
Let's look at Michael's two ladies. His Italian wife, Apollonia, barely has three sentences of untranslated dialogue. What we know about her is that Michael and her have great chemistry, and she has a great rack.
And that's fine.
I am defending the choice to make these female characters relatively passive and one-dimensional, because this movie is not about them. If they possessed any more spirit or will, it would undercut one of the ultimate messages that the movie imparts to the viewers: that the system under which these families operate cannot allow its leaders to operate under any guise of normalcy. They cannot make connections. They cannot show emotion. They cannot afford to seem weak.
Let's look at Michael's two ladies. His Italian wife, Apollonia, barely has three sentences of untranslated dialogue. What we know about her is that Michael and her have great chemistry, and she has a great rack.
Aaaaand the crowd goes wild.
She ends up getting offed in an explosion that was meant to take out Michael, thereby kick-starting his descent into Don-dom.
Then we've got Kay (who we had trouble recognizing as Diane Keaton), a pretty normal, happy woman who deeply loves Michael and gets dropped by him as soon as his involvement with his family business grows. If the relationship had continued normally, perhaps their lack of chemistry would have made itself apparent and the relationship would have fizzled out.
However, as Shirley Whiskas says, "Nothing's going to make a woman want you more than denying her affection." As Michael pulls away, Kay seems to cling on more tightly, until finally Michael flees to Sicily. She was branded as a cheerful outsider early on in the movie, and nothing makes this clearer than her attempts to carry on as planned while Michael's dirty deeds and family tragedies pile up.
Then we've got Kay (who we had trouble recognizing as Diane Keaton), a pretty normal, happy woman who deeply loves Michael and gets dropped by him as soon as his involvement with his family business grows. If the relationship had continued normally, perhaps their lack of chemistry would have made itself apparent and the relationship would have fizzled out.
However, as Shirley Whiskas says, "Nothing's going to make a woman want you more than denying her affection." As Michael pulls away, Kay seems to cling on more tightly, until finally Michael flees to Sicily. She was branded as a cheerful outsider early on in the movie, and nothing makes this clearer than her attempts to carry on as planned while Michael's dirty deeds and family tragedies pile up.
"Yeah, this isn't a good time to be dropping L-bombs." -Dijan de Nero
When Michael marries Kay, it's because he needs a wife, not because he loves her. And that is one of the tragedies brought about by the story. Kay and the other women do not have agency in this movie, but that is because agency is not allowed for them by the system they live in. Instead, they are charged with the task to keep up the facade, to provide these criminal minds with wives and families, to make them look good and respectable, and somehow excuse the amoral behavior going on all around them.
It's a difficult task, and one that Kay does not seem ready for. And that adds an extra layer to the drama.
It's a difficult task, and one that Kay does not seem ready for. And that adds an extra layer to the drama.
What's the Issue?
I had a difficult time with the "daddy issues" rule in this movie. The major father-son relationship is between Vito and Michael Corleone, and honestly, they have a pretty loving relationship. Vito admires Michael's sensitive and diplomatic nature, and even expresses in a later scene that he had hoped he would end up with a more respectable job, not taking his place as the Don. We see in scenes with his grandson that he enjoys children, and he has a strong relationship with his daughter as well.
But there is the pesky fact that he is, in fact, a mob boss. So there's BOUND to be issues. His job creates issues, even if he as a person does not intend for those issues to be there.
So how do you drink for this rule? You can't just drink for the presence of a legitimate problem (trust me, the game's difficult enough). It's too nebulous.
But there are moments you can point out. When Vito and Michael talk business with each other. When Michael moves his father to a different hospital room because he's afraid he'll get offed. When Vito learns that Sonny is dead. Any intersection between the family ties and the job, basically.
Feel free to get creative, because the rest of the rules are airtight. I don't remember the last hour of this movie, and at one point my astute observations were reduced to narrating meaningless activity on the screen.
But there is the pesky fact that he is, in fact, a mob boss. So there's BOUND to be issues. His job creates issues, even if he as a person does not intend for those issues to be there.
So how do you drink for this rule? You can't just drink for the presence of a legitimate problem (trust me, the game's difficult enough). It's too nebulous.
But there are moments you can point out. When Vito and Michael talk business with each other. When Michael moves his father to a different hospital room because he's afraid he'll get offed. When Vito learns that Sonny is dead. Any intersection between the family ties and the job, basically.
Feel free to get creative, because the rest of the rules are airtight. I don't remember the last hour of this movie, and at one point my astute observations were reduced to narrating meaningless activity on the screen.
"He's sitting in a chair!" -Krissy
The Results
After the movie, we revisited our target and were surprised to find out that our collective aim had actually improved. Proving once again that alcohol makes it easier for you to hit things.
This game was solid. All modes were hit hard, it was just a matter of how fast. My only issue is that most of the difficult rules were on Easy Mode, so I'd switch things up a bit if you only want to get a little drunk. Here are some extra rules if you'd like to tweak anything.
Drink when someone eats something.
It doesn't happen all that much, but I like the theme of having rules for eating, drinking and smoking.
Drink when you see a man wearing a hat.
Lifted from my "Maltese Falcon" drinking game, this will put your observational skills to the test. Because most scenes take place inside, the men are generally hatless. Generally.
Add "Latin" to the drink anything in Italian rule.
Once again, this doesn't add much, but it helps make one scene feel like a punch in the face after you're done with it.
Drink when someone eats something.
It doesn't happen all that much, but I like the theme of having rules for eating, drinking and smoking.
Drink when you see a man wearing a hat.
Lifted from my "Maltese Falcon" drinking game, this will put your observational skills to the test. Because most scenes take place inside, the men are generally hatless. Generally.
Add "Latin" to the drink anything in Italian rule.
Once again, this doesn't add much, but it helps make one scene feel like a punch in the face after you're done with it.
"The Bishop is angry about the Latin pronunciation! Did he just say "Domino"?"-The Bishop
Thanks for reading, everyone! Next week we'll take a look at another side of New York.
Now THOSE are some shady characters.
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For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). Video footage is taken by Pooh Daddy (Vincent Graham) and edited by Seb (Amy Yourd). All "Godfather" images are owned by Paramount.
For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). Video footage is taken by Pooh Daddy (Vincent Graham) and edited by Seb (Amy Yourd). All "Godfather" images are owned by Paramount.
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