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Game #17: Ferris Bueller's Day Off

6/6/2013

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Gets Better Every Time

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I don't have to explain this movie to you guys, right? You all know it? Presumably you like it? Good.

For the 1% of the population that has never seen this movie, you're missing out on a great time. I'm convinced my parents were sitting on this one for years until they thought I could appreciate it, because they were THAT excited when I watched it with them for the first time. Most of us had seen the movie on television somewhere, or at a friend's house, or with family.

Weirdly enough, most of us had never seen the movie all the way through. "You forget the whole first half hour of this movie, because you never see the first half hour of this movie," claimed Flux. Meanwhile, Paul had never seen the iconic final scene that's been parodied in media ever since it first hit theaters. So I encourage you all to watch "Ferris Bueller" all the way through.

And while you're at it, play this stellar drinking game. Just make sure you give yourself a day off afterward. 

"Ferris Bueller's Day Drunk": The Rules

I didn't have a clue what we should drink for this movie, but then I looked up cocktail recipes and found one that fit: the Chicago cocktail. It's made with Brandy, triple sec and bitters. 

That being said, it's a very strong drink for this game, so I recommend drinking one of these and switching to something else afterward.
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Just ask yourself, what would Abe Froman drink?
Easy Mode
1. Drink for Title drops. Drink for the full title, and whenever someone says "Ferris Bueller"
2. Drink when they drink.
3. Drink for Daddy Issues.
4. Drink whenever reference is made to the "Save Ferris" movement.
5. Drink whenever something breaks or is destroyed. Mostly just the one time.

Medium Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink for title drops. Drink every time someone says "Ferris"
2. Drink whenever two people make out.
3. Drink whenever someone impersonates someone else. See above photo.

Hard Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink for title drops. Drink every time someone says "Bueller"
2. Drink whenever someone believes a lie that Ferris tells. 
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The initial lie not being the least of it.

The Players

Our onscreen players for this game are Krissy (me), Paul (also known as Big Moose), and The Fuzzy Masked Man. We discussed what we would do with our own days off. 
Our offscreen players are...

Seb: Will pay someday for the laser attack (Easy)
Champjagne Austgin: Knew Charlie Sheen back when he was called Mr. Wickham (Easy)
Flux: Saw the birth of MTV (Medium)

I had a lot of fun playing this game. Meaning, I had a lot to drink. How did this happen? Well, let's see...

Don't Hate the Game, Hate the Player

One of the great things about this movie is that it's honestly pretty wholesome, or at least there are much more delinquent cases of this kind of movie floating around from the same time period. Ferris and his friends make it through this entire day without imbibing any drugs or alcohol, apart from maybe some champagne at the fancy restaurant they crash. Sure, they steal a car, but it's not like it's a stranger's car. It belongs to Cameron's dad. Sure they sneak into places, but it's all public property and they don't deface anything (which makes my "breaking stuff" rule ALMOST useless). They just want to have a good time, because they're young and they might not be able to get away with stuff like this again.

I identify with that pursuit of stupid fun. It's part of the reason I started this blog. And I gotta tell you, this is a very solid game. It's consistent throughout the film, the rules don't fly too hard and fast, there's no one scene that will completely screw you over. It's a nice time for a nice movie.

But friends, I need to level with you; I drank WAY too much.

How is this possible you ask? Frankly, I'm not really sure. But I have some vague memories...maybe I can piece them together...I'm sure it's not the game's fault. 

First Mistakes

Okay, the first mistake I made was starting with Brandy. It was a decent sized drink, and it was straight liquor, and I was playing on Hard Mode. The last time we drank straight liquor was for the "Maltese Falcon" and I was able to successfully nurse my one drink through almost the entire movie.

Not so with Ferris Bueller's Day Off. The movie starts hard and fast; you've got two drinks for the initial lie Ferris tells that his parents believe, you have several drinks for Ferris's parents voicing concerning by saying his name, you have the famous Ben Stein "Bueller" scene a few minutes later...it's a lot to deal with. I'm pretty sure I finished the first half of my drink within those first fifteen minutes, which is a lot when it's ONLY LIQUOR you're drinking.
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"In the special features for this, he said he was just talking about things he thought were interesting"-Champjagne AustGin
This wouldn't have been so bad if I had only been playing on Easy Mode. According to my easy players, they had it much too easy. Looking at the rules, this makes sense; the "Save Ferris" movement is, as the Fuzzy Masked Man affectionately dubbed it, "the background movie" of the main plot. There's a lot of stuff going on, but we only hear about it every once in a while. And things, as I mentioned before, rarely break. 
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Except, of course, the one time.
After I finished my Brandy, I switched to a mixed drink. And that's where things got confusing. 

Differing Accounts

The Fuzzy Masked Man was having fun teasing my ever-increasing state of inebriation. I was nearing the point, about halfway through the movie, where I was starting to drink water on the side to combat the alcohol. 

"It's okay," he said, attempting to comfort me, "You have had three drinks."

"No," I countered, "This is my second one."

"No," he insisted, "It's your third."

Excuse me?

"You finished the brandy, poured yourself a vodka soda, and then poured ANOTHER vodka soda."

"I don't believe you!" I yelled, belligerent, but convinced I was in the right. Looking back on the night, I honestly don't remember. It's totally possible that I knocked back a second drink without even knowing it. But that's a really scary thought, right? I should remember how much I drank, right?

It gets worse. Worse than Cameron's Daddy Issues, which by the way, you have to drink for. 
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Seb and Paul referred to this state as "Camatose".

Seb's House Rules

The only person who was near my level of drunk was Paul. He transformed into Big Moose about an hour and fifteen minutes into the movie. Big Moose is generally louder, sillier, and cruder than Paul, and between the two of us the commentary for this movie became utter nonsense.

I always rely on Seb to keep a level head during times like this, and Seb didn't let me down. Seb instituted a new rule that I wholly endorse, in the spirit of playing safe:

"If you cannot pour yourself another drink, either because you cannot stand up or do not have the willpower to do so, you cannot have another drink."

Wise words, and very helpful. As we neared the end of the movie, I stood to pour myself my last drink. I was planning on getting a screwdriver, because I know for a fact that drinks containing natural juices take a longer time for your body to process. I was attempting to slow down.

As I opened my fridge, a bottle of wine leftover from the Arrested Development game hovered in my vision, and SOMEHOW in my booze-addled brain, I thought it would be a  good idea to drink that instead. Nobody saw me pour the wine. I walked back to my seat and continued playing the game.
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My face 20 minutes later.
Friends, I'm spending so much time detailing my poor decisions over the course of the night for several reasons.

First, there's not much for me to say about this movie. It's Ferris Frickin Bueller. It's iconic. Sure, I could talk about the theory that Ferris is a figment of Cameron's imagination. I could talk about the ridiculous, yet oddly poignant journey of Principal Rooney as he attempts to catch Ferris in the act. I could talk about how cutely ferocious Ferris' doberman is, for crying out loud, it would all add up to one thing: this movie is great. Everyone knows it.
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"That is a rottweiler, not a doberman. Dobermans are lithe." -Big Moose
Secondly, I am taking the time to detail this chain of bad decisions because it will, and I declare this now, NEVER happen again. I will play this game smart next time, or I will not play at all. I test these for a reason, and that reason is so that none of you will endure the internal chaos that my first drafts inspire. PAY ATTENTION TO MY FAILURE, DAMMIT.

I'm fine, by the way. And I'll spare you further details. 

The Results

Ohhh, I'm afraid to watch this. 
Phew. Not too bad. I'm surprisingly articulate. For those of you who want to know what we actually thought of the movie, watch the video.

Long story short, good game, bad execution. There's plenty you can do to improve both the game itself and its desired results.

Drink for Direct Address
Ferris loves to talk to the camera, and he's the only one to do so. Every time a scene begins with a direct address, drink. It's like acknowledging you're part of the conversation. Add this rule to Easy Mode.

Do not drink brandy.
I don't think I need to reiterate this anymore, do you?

Drink whenever someone says "Day Off".
This actually gets said much more often than "Buller", but not quite as often as "Ferris Bueller". It is the point of the movie, after all. 

Thank you for reading and sharing in my misery, friends. Thanks to my fellow players for putting up with me. 
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Roughly what was happening inside my head.
Like what you see? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, at For Your Inebriation and @KrissyPappau respectively. You'll get weekly updates, behind the scenes drunk talk, and other chatter!

For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). Video footage is taken by Pooh Daddy (Vincent Graham) and edited by Seb (Amy Yourd). All "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" images are owned by Paramount Pictures.
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    Base Rules

    1. Thou shalt drink whenever a character on screen drinks

    2. Thou shalt drink when a character speaks of his or her severe Daddy Issues

    3. Thou shalt drink for Title Drops

    4. Thou shalt drink joyously

    5. Thou shalt drink responsibly

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