Gets Better Every Time
For the 1% of the population that has never seen this movie, you're missing out on a great time. I'm convinced my parents were sitting on this one for years until they thought I could appreciate it, because they were THAT excited when I watched it with them for the first time. Most of us had seen the movie on television somewhere, or at a friend's house, or with family.
Weirdly enough, most of us had never seen the movie all the way through. "You forget the whole first half hour of this movie, because you never see the first half hour of this movie," claimed Flux. Meanwhile, Paul had never seen the iconic final scene that's been parodied in media ever since it first hit theaters. So I encourage you all to watch "Ferris Bueller" all the way through.
And while you're at it, play this stellar drinking game. Just make sure you give yourself a day off afterward.
"Ferris Bueller's Day Drunk": The Rules
That being said, it's a very strong drink for this game, so I recommend drinking one of these and switching to something else afterward.
1. Drink for Title drops. Drink for the full title, and whenever someone says "Ferris Bueller"
2. Drink when they drink.
3. Drink for Daddy Issues.
4. Drink whenever reference is made to the "Save Ferris" movement.
5. Drink whenever something breaks or is destroyed. Mostly just the one time.
Medium Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink for title drops. Drink every time someone says "Ferris"
2. Drink whenever two people make out.
3. Drink whenever someone impersonates someone else. See above photo.
Hard Mode
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink for title drops. Drink every time someone says "Bueller"
2. Drink whenever someone believes a lie that Ferris tells.
The Players
Seb: Will pay someday for the laser attack (Easy)
Champjagne Austgin: Knew Charlie Sheen back when he was called Mr. Wickham (Easy)
Flux: Saw the birth of MTV (Medium)
I had a lot of fun playing this game. Meaning, I had a lot to drink. How did this happen? Well, let's see...
Don't Hate the Game, Hate the Player
I identify with that pursuit of stupid fun. It's part of the reason I started this blog. And I gotta tell you, this is a very solid game. It's consistent throughout the film, the rules don't fly too hard and fast, there's no one scene that will completely screw you over. It's a nice time for a nice movie.
But friends, I need to level with you; I drank WAY too much.
How is this possible you ask? Frankly, I'm not really sure. But I have some vague memories...maybe I can piece them together...I'm sure it's not the game's fault.
First Mistakes
Not so with Ferris Bueller's Day Off. The movie starts hard and fast; you've got two drinks for the initial lie Ferris tells that his parents believe, you have several drinks for Ferris's parents voicing concerning by saying his name, you have the famous Ben Stein "Bueller" scene a few minutes later...it's a lot to deal with. I'm pretty sure I finished the first half of my drink within those first fifteen minutes, which is a lot when it's ONLY LIQUOR you're drinking.
Differing Accounts
"It's okay," he said, attempting to comfort me, "You have had three drinks."
"No," I countered, "This is my second one."
"No," he insisted, "It's your third."
Excuse me?
"You finished the brandy, poured yourself a vodka soda, and then poured ANOTHER vodka soda."
"I don't believe you!" I yelled, belligerent, but convinced I was in the right. Looking back on the night, I honestly don't remember. It's totally possible that I knocked back a second drink without even knowing it. But that's a really scary thought, right? I should remember how much I drank, right?
It gets worse. Worse than Cameron's Daddy Issues, which by the way, you have to drink for.
Seb's House Rules
I always rely on Seb to keep a level head during times like this, and Seb didn't let me down. Seb instituted a new rule that I wholly endorse, in the spirit of playing safe:
"If you cannot pour yourself another drink, either because you cannot stand up or do not have the willpower to do so, you cannot have another drink."
Wise words, and very helpful. As we neared the end of the movie, I stood to pour myself my last drink. I was planning on getting a screwdriver, because I know for a fact that drinks containing natural juices take a longer time for your body to process. I was attempting to slow down.
As I opened my fridge, a bottle of wine leftover from the Arrested Development game hovered in my vision, and SOMEHOW in my booze-addled brain, I thought it would be a good idea to drink that instead. Nobody saw me pour the wine. I walked back to my seat and continued playing the game.
First, there's not much for me to say about this movie. It's Ferris Frickin Bueller. It's iconic. Sure, I could talk about the theory that Ferris is a figment of Cameron's imagination. I could talk about the ridiculous, yet oddly poignant journey of Principal Rooney as he attempts to catch Ferris in the act. I could talk about how cutely ferocious Ferris' doberman is, for crying out loud, it would all add up to one thing: this movie is great. Everyone knows it.
I'm fine, by the way. And I'll spare you further details.
The Results
Long story short, good game, bad execution. There's plenty you can do to improve both the game itself and its desired results.
Drink for Direct Address
Ferris loves to talk to the camera, and he's the only one to do so. Every time a scene begins with a direct address, drink. It's like acknowledging you're part of the conversation. Add this rule to Easy Mode.
Do not drink brandy.
I don't think I need to reiterate this anymore, do you?
Drink whenever someone says "Day Off".
This actually gets said much more often than "Buller", but not quite as often as "Ferris Bueller". It is the point of the movie, after all.
Thank you for reading and sharing in my misery, friends. Thanks to my fellow players for putting up with me.
For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). Video footage is taken by Pooh Daddy (Vincent Graham) and edited by Seb (Amy Yourd). All "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" images are owned by Paramount Pictures.