Warning: DEFINITELY NSFW
That's all going out the window with this game. This show is famous for its scantily clad women, its power-hungry men, and levels of gore beyond reproach. Some have called it gratuitous. But the show still has garnered high levels of critical acclaim, it is changing the way television is being produced even though it is still in its early stages, AND it has earned the title of the most widely pirated show on television.
Can a show be considered high art and low art at the same time? In any case, Game of Thrones is going strong at season three, and we'll be playing this drinking game for a long, long, LONG time to come.
"Game of Booze": The Rules
The more ridiculous the name of the beer, the better suited it is for this game. Have fun with it.
1. Drink for Title Drops ("Game of Thrones")
2. Drink for Daddy Issues. Hoo boy.
3. Drink when they drink. Again, hoo boy.
4. Drink for tits. Let's be clear, NAKED tits.
5. Pick a royal house name. Drink whenever their name is mentioned.
1. Drink once for tits, twice for ass. The ass can be male or female.
2. Drink when someone's disability or deformity is mentioned.
3. Drink when someone uses magic.
4. Drink when someone talks about "secrets" or "whispers". Remember, nothing is safe.
5. Drink when someone calls someone else a "bastard". Drink twice if that person isn't actually a bastard, in the traditional sense.
1. Drink for Title drops. That's every time someone says the word "throne".
2. Drink when someone chants words by rote. This could be incantation, ceremony, or just boosting morale with a house motto.
3. Drink when someone steals something.
4. Drink when a marriage pact is formed. It doesn't necessarily have to go through.
5. Drink once for tits, twice for ass, and THREE times for dick. It's only happened a couple times in the show so far.
Seb: House Lannister (Easy)
Shirley Whiskas: House Targaryen (Medium)
Champjagne Austgin: House Tyrell (Medium)
Pooh Daddy: House Baratheon (Hard)
All of our ambassadors are present and accounted for. Let's get started!
Let's Get this Over With...
So first: Titties!
Here's the thing; after playing the game we found that, on average, most scenes have no nudity at all.
To playtest this game, we watched the last two episodes of Season 2: "Blackwater" and "Valar Morghulis". In that entire two hours, we only marked two instances of real nudity. In "Blackwater", Bronn the sellsword carouses with a group of soldiers who have brought some prostitutes to entertain them before the long battle ahead. In "Valar Morghulis", Daenerys rescues her dragons from a tower filled to the brim with spells (drink!) and returns to home base to catch one of her handmaidens in bed with the Lord of Qath, who took the dragons in the first place (belated drink!).
The books were much more graphic, and I still was never pulled away from the story. Because the story is being told in a way that makes everything sexy.
And the Other Thing
I'll answer the question here: you don't drink for gore because it doesn't happen in every episode, and when it does it happens repeatedly and with no room to breathe. If we drank for gore during the two episodes we watched, we would have not been able to get off the floor. But if we had picked two episodes from earlier that season, or from the first season, we probably would not have drunk at all for this rule.
The purpose of the nudity rule is to fill the quieter areas of the show. Chances are, none of these other rules will be in play while someone's undressed, maybe one rule on the off-chance the episode is very plot heavy. While you're waiting around for the next scene, you can start the nudity counter in your head.
Attention has been paid to make the battle scenes both inventive and incredibly violent, so give credit where it's due. The show pulls no punches. Enjoy it.
Something for the Ladies
So I posit a theory: putting Peter Dinklage's obvious talent and handsomeness aside, Tyrion Lannister has garnered the most popularity because the audience has deemed him most likely to survive.
Let's take a look at Tyrion for a second. Born a dwarf in a time when this meant you probably wouldn't live to see adulthood (by the way, every time someone calls him "The Imp", you have to drink), he also had the good luck (or as he puts it, misfortune) of being born into one of the most powerful and wealthy families in the realm. He is made brutally aware of the situation he has been born into, is intelligent and cunning enough to know when to use it to his advantage, and filled with enough pride and authority to turn the tables on his rivals when need be. He is a powerhouse, and not because he begins the story as a leading man. He BECOMES a leading man because that is what it takes for him to survive.
In "Blackwater", Tyrion is forced into a position of leadership when Joffrey is sent off the battlefield by his mother. He rallies his soldiers, who are just about ready to throw in the towel, not by appealing to their honor, duty or chivalry, but by stating the cold hard truth: that Stannis' army would come into the city, pillage it clean and rape their women.
"Those are brave men out there," he acknowledges. "Let's go kill them."
This speech is gorgeous. It's Tyrion in a nutshell. You do what you can in life not for glory or honor, but because you have a right to your life and everything that comes with it. Glory is a luxury. When the best thing about life is that you're alive, you have to fight to protect that.
I have it on good authority that Tyrion is still alive up to the point where the books have been published (if he's not, please don't tell me, I don't want to know). He's the most fascinating character in the show, and Dinklage is a joy to watch when he's on screen. So let's hope that we, the audience, have put money on the right horse this time.
"I want that leg he just cut off inside me. Knee deep." -Sandy
"Ohh, look at that battering ram. Batter me, battering ram! Batter me!" -Krissy
"I want that eyeball inside me. Retina deep." -Pooh Daddy
At one point, Champjagne came back from the bathroom and said, "Oh, I'm so glad the conversation hasn't changed topics!" We then continued to drool over embroidery, dismembered body parts, and various types of steel.
Maybe it's the color palettes, I don't know...Something about this show brings it out of us.
This Show Does it Right
Title drops: Sure, the whole title doesn't get dropped that often, but people say "Throne" a lot, seeing as the goals of most characters involve the seat of power. Even though it does look like an uncomfortable seat.
And who can forget the Daddy Issues rule? This show is FILLED with Daddy issues. Everyone is obsessed with their father in some way; sometimes its akin to idol worship, but often it stems from resentment and bitterness. Once, Tywin Lannister came on screen.
"Drink for Daddy Issues!" Sandy cried out.
"Because he showed up? Yeah, sure," Seb qualified.
This show really caters to a diverse bunch of viewers. You like nudity? They've got it. Action? Got it. Intrigue? It's all there. The show even has zombies. Season 2 ends with the threat of a gigantic zombie invasion.
Pick a location. Drink whenever that location is mentioned.
Picking a house name to drink for worked very well. The most mentioned names were "Lannister", "Baratheon" and "Stark". I suspect that location names would be a little more skewed. So if you want to get drunk, make "King's Landing" your home.
Drink whenever a named character dies.
I felt loath to put this rule in our game because I thought it might be overkill. But hey, why not?
Drink for "title" drops.
Khaleesi. Mother of Dragons. The Imp. The Eunich. These are all titles given to characters in the show. Honor them by raising your glass whenever they are called.
Thanks so much for reading! Next week we'll be continuing Television month with a 90's classic. Before Stephanie Meyer...
For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). Video footage is taken by Pooh Daddy (Vincent Graham) and edited by Seb (Amy Yourd). All "Game of Thrones" images are owned by HBO