A Wild Drinking Game Appears!
We care. And it's because we care that we want to give YOU a hand-crafted drinking game that will suit YOUR needs. And we make games for all genres, so there's bound to be something that suits your taste at some point. This week we're starting with a very special Japanese television show that made us all want to be the very best: Pokemon.
Try this game with Mike's Hard Lemonade! You know, your gateway drug into the wide world of alcohol. It's surprisingly easy to get wasted on Mike's. If you can't afford it, buy your own lemonade and mix in your favorite liquor.
Our standard rules apply. They are...
1. Drink when they drink. Pokemon characters don't often drink alcohol, so drink whenever someone drinks lemonade, or an equally refreshing cool beverage.
2. Drink for Daddy Issues. Maybe Dad wanted them to be CEO of his company instead of a concert pianist. Or maybe he just went out for cigarettes one day and never came back. If a character's got 'em, they'll let you know.
3. Drink for Title Drops. Meaning whenever the title is spoken aloud. For Easy Mode, this means the title of the episode.
4. Drink whenever someone says the word "Pikachu" (except for Pikachu).
5. Drink whenever someone catches a Pokemon
6. Drink whenever Team Rocket makes an appearance (this means whenever they begin their motto or enter dramatically)
7. Drink when Ash makes a call to Professor Oak
8. Drink whenever Ash (or another trainer) looks up something on the Pokedex
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink whenever someone says the word "Pikachu" including Pikachu. This doesn't mean "Pika-pi" or "Pi-pika" or "Chuuuu". Pikachu has to say his full name.
2. Drink whenever a pokemon evolves. Two drinks if the Pokemon is in Ash's party at the time. The evolution must occur onscreen.
3. Drink when Brock attempts to flirt with a girl. If Brock isn't in this episode, first cry. Then, drink whenever Tracy sketches something. Then talk badly about Tracy behind his back.
4. Drink when Team Rocket fails to complete their motto. This happens more often than you'd think.
5. Drink whenever someone mentions Gary, Ash's rival. Drink twice if Gary actually shows up.
All the above rules apply. Also...
1. Drink for Title Drops. In Hard Mode, this means whenever someone says the word "Pokemon". This includes the opening credits.
2. Drink when Team Rocket show up in silly disguises. This includes James cross-dressing.
3. Drink whenever someone makes a pun.
4. Drink whenever Pokemon talk to each other in Pokespeak. Two drinks if the trainer claims to understand what it says.
5. When Gary shows up, drink for the entire time he remains onscreen.
The Fuzzy Masked Man: Sometimes he fantasizes about stealing Pokemon (Medium Mode)
The Bishop: She's wondering what kind of God exists in the Pokeworld, and ponders what He has wrought (Medium Mode)
Seb: (S)he likes the episodes that give you seizures (Hard Mode)
Shirley Whiskas: She could beat Jessie in a beauty contest...or a boxing match (Hard Mode)
What will become of our brave heroes? We'll find out in this week's episode of For Your Inebriation!
Our Heroes Set Out on Their Journey
Turns out they don't do much. Ash is a little older, and while Brock's come back to journey with him around Hoenn, Misty flew the coop and she's been replaced by these two wet blankets, Max and his sister May.
Since a lot of our rules rely on the characters being incompetent, this made the game easier. But Hard Mode still got their workout. The most sips were taken that night because of the Title Drop rule, followed only by the Pikachu rule (that kicked ALL of our asses). Ash and company, especially Team Rocket, can't get enough of the little guy.
How Old is Jessie Anyway?
"I'm sorry, she's like, in her early thirties," protests Shirley Whiskas. Shirley marked Jessie as her main object of scorn, which only intensified as the night wore on. The rest of us didn't mind. I think we all wished we could see how that fight would play out.
Jessie's age is much like her relationship with James: fun to think about, but we may never get a clear answer.
Who In Their Right Mind Would Let Ash Ride a Horse?
Ash proves himself incompetent. We could have predicted that ("He has a giant 'L' on his hat! He's clearly a loser!" says The Fuzzy Masked Man). But after several tries grappling with Ponyta's "intense flame", Ash manages to redeem himself. Ponyta even evolves into Rapidash mid-race (Drink!).
Only Pooh Daddy stood up for Ash. "But guys," he cried, "What about the intense flames in their hearts?" And it's true, in the Pokemon world, passion counts for a lot. Which is why Ash got as far as he did in the first place.
Is Ash Eating a Fried Magikarp?
Are We Going to be Alone Forever?
What Happens to Team Rocket When they Blast Off?
According to resident theological expert, The Bishop, "As soon as the coin in copper sings, the soul from Purgatory springs". All they'd have to do to be free of their past sins is pay a small fine, or "Indulgence". One thing we know about Team Rocket is that they are constantly broke. I guess now we know why.
What's Brock Like in Bed?
"Brock used Magnitude! But nothing happened!"
Sorry, Brock. You flirt way too hard (Drink! Drink! Drink!). Are you overcompensating for something?
Who Will Open this Bottle of Rum?
Seb gallantly stepped forward. "Seb will open the rum!" (s)he crowed. I gave Seb the bottle and sat down.
Two seconds later, I heard Seb cry out "The Bishop will open the rum!"
The Bishop had no problem. Clearly she's made of stronger stuff than Seb or I.
Where is Gary?
We got lucky. Don't get cocky. Gary will fuck you up.
Why is that Electrode Disguised as a Watermelon?
Drink for Wobbuffet
In Johto, Jessie gets a Wobbuffet, who serves the same purpose that Misty's Psyduck did in the first season. He pops out of his pokeball at inappropriate times and is generally useless. Wobbuffet is way better at this gag than Psyduck ever was, and his appearances are often accompanied by some great visual gags like revolving doors, strange costumes, etc.
Drink whenever Team Rocket digs a hole. Drink again if somebody falls into it. Drink twice if that somebody is a member of Team Rocket.
Jessie and James love to dig traps. The reason they continue after all this time is because they usually work. The twerps find themselves underground more often than they'd like, but unfortunately Team Rocket is hit with friendly fire just as often.
Drink if a joke is reused in at least two different episodes during your evening
The weirdest things pop up over and over again. Like somebody swinging in on a vine when they're coming to the rescue (episodes 177 and 349). Or a Team Rocket member crying out "Jane! Stop this crazy thing!" when their giant robot starts to go haywire (episodes 33 and 349).
Really, Pokemon writers? A Jetson's reference? That's what you decide to reuse? For shame.
Guys, thanks for reading! We learned a lot from our Pokemon adventures. We'll be playing again next week with a new movie or TV show. If you'd like to suggest something for us to watch, write it in the comments below. Have fun trying this at home! Don't do anything we wouldn't do.