This is the "Godfather" of bad movies. Or we've all been told.

Let's set the scene: it's 2002. Eddie Murphy is riding a giant wave of notoriety that he found in the late 80's. A man who gained fame for being subversive, intelligent and often downright batshit, is now a household name. He just voiced a talking donkey in Shrek, and my God, he's proven that talented actors can still make money and make relevant movies with great performances. He worried us a little bit with some of his choices; "The Nutty Professor" and "Doctor Doolittle" aren't exactly high art. But those are just kids' movies, right? You can't expect Eddie Murphy to go all "Raw" in a children's movie. If you do, you're disgusting.

Enter Pluto Nash.

Pluto Nash is not a children's movie. Children's movies, often, are fun. Pluto Nash is a carefully crafted, billion dollar flop that was designed to hit all the right buttons. It followed the film formula to a "t", it got some of the biggest names in Hollywood, it spared no expense with special effects (and for 2002, this movie at least LOOKS fairly decent). But it wasn't good. It was never going to BE good. All Murphy's involvement did was bring its badness to the public eye. Without him, it would have been an easily forgettable B-movie with some "Hey!"-worthy celebrity sightings.

Pluto Nash is the movie Murphy should never have made. But as we sat down to actually watch it, we wondered: is this really the worst flop of all time? Or do we just believe that because it's what we've been told? Does the movie actually SUCK as hard as they say? Could it have been saved? Can things possibly have been any worse?

You may be surprised at what we found.

I watched Burt Wonderstone for the first time last week. Afterwards, I felt more sad than I should have after watching a Steve Carell comedy. My heart sank into my shoes, because I felt as though I witnessed the death of several careers in the course of an hour and a half.

This is the fault of none of the actors involved in this movie. There's a lot of talent present here, seasoned veterans who have been making us laugh for decades. Many of the jokes land perfectly on their feet. The pacing is perfect, the cinematography is glitzy and colorful. This movie had every chance to succeed. 

What kills this movie is the fact that it does not listen to the very message it is giving the audience. Burt Wonderstone is about artistic integrity, keeping your passions alive, and avoiding the easy way to popularity. And these themes are presented in the most formulaic, trite, soulless package released in theaters in years. 

A damn shame is what this movie is. I know very few people who ever saw it. We unlucky few can never forget it.

Those of you who were paying attention at the end of the last review might recall that I was going to make a drinking game for "Memento" next.

Turns out that after the soul-crushing horror that was "Passion of the Christ," not too many people were into that particular idea. And I realize that today is the first day of summer. So for the next four weeks, to celebrate the new season, we'll be taking a look at some of our favorite movies and television shows that have to do with travel and adventure! Because there's no better way to celebrate summer than packing into a car and going wherever the road takes you, whether you're setting out on a quest or just rolling around.

Memento's day will come. And that day will be sweet. But will it be as sweet as a delicious burger from White Castle?

Yeah, probably. Those things are just okay.

Now might be a good time to reiterate the purpose of this blog.

I love movies, and I love television. More than that, I love exploring the medium, finding similarities throughout different genres, making connections between different types of stories. I have always considered this blog a film review site seen through the LENS of drinking games. The games are important, but the movies are the focus.

That being said, somehow, some way, this movie ended up on my list, and against all odds I picked it out of my magic hat. Now, I remember being very young when this movie came out, and knowing nothing about it except that people could NOT stop talking about it. If you were an adult and you had not seen this movie, you weren't worth talking to about films at all. I've heard several people who were grown at the time praise it as a worthwhile piece of cinema. I know very few people who ENJOYED watching it.

I almost chickened out. Making a drinking game for "The Passion of the Christ"? No. No way. Who would want that? Certainly not me. Nobody's going to want to play it with me. And it's not in very good taste. And what if nobody reads the article? Isn't that the point?

And then I thought, what the hell. At least it'll make a great story. That's what's important.

And by God, it did.

This entry brings television month to a close. And what better way to end the month than with the longest running sitcom outside syndication? 

The Simpsons has been on the air for 24 YEARS, and with good reason. Before Matt Groening took network television by storm, airing an animated show for adults was not recommended, especially in a prime-time slot on a network as reputable as FOX. Now the concept is De Riguer for most networks, and the series itself has been highly influential in the realms of animation, sitcoms, and comedy in general. This show brought cartoons back into the spotlight, and continues to lampoon American pop culture to this day.

But can a show really run for longer than the lifespan of most viewers of this blog, still crank out joke after joke, and stay relevant to the general American populace? And can there be a drinking game that will accurately encompass 24 years of television? We sat down to find out. 

I made this game way too difficult.

It had to happen at some point, and I'm kind of glad it happened with this movie. The Goonies is loud, it's raucous, it's constantly moving, it's everything a good adventure should be. That being said, we got drunker than One-Eyed Willy on the day he christened his ship.

I'm actually recommending that you NOT play this game with the rules we used. It's too difficult, you probably won't be concious by the time you're finished, and you definitely won't remember the movie.

The Goonies is vicious. You've been warned.