"Jesus!" "No, Moses!"
But you know a little part of you wants to sneak away after all the festivities, get some ceremonial wine and call your besties to indulge in a little blasphemous activity. We won't judge you. That's the Lord's job. We're just here to provide structure to your shenanigans, and make sure your drunken escapades are clean and wholesome. And what's more clean and wholesome than the Old Testament?
The river turns into what, now?